Changing
I've been changing. A year ago I knew that without a doubt, because it happened so rapidly. I had lived a dull, lonely life for 17 years, and then poof. Everything changed in a number of months.
Apparently I've been changing slowly ever since, just haven't thought about it. And therefore, never really noticed it.
I've always wanted to change my life, still want to change it. But is change always for the better? If you change and change and change.. after a while you won't have anything left to change that hasn't already been changed. There's nothing of the old left. And even I can admit that not all the old was bad.
Maybe too much change is bad. Because I can't deny when the issue is brought up. There were sides of me that I liked, sides that were.. me. But they're not with me anymore. Are they gone forever or just temporary? Have I lost who I am in all this mess?
Ancient Conquest
I figured out what game I was talking about two posts back ^_^ Ancient Conquest! I'm actually not sure how on earth I've ever come across all these games that aren't really that well known. I've been really keen to play some old goodies. Like Constructor, Mob Rule (Street Wars) and previously mentioned game. Also Airline Tycoon comes to mind, which brings something else in mind.. Airline Tycoon 2! I can't wait until that is released.
Monday morning, we all love those. Got up around 5.20am today, it's 4 hours later now. And I'll leave for school in 2 hours, maybe a bit less. So there ya go, some morning math for you. What time do I leave for school? :o
Talking about math, I have quite a lot of stuff to do. Math one of them. It's easier said than done though.I also have private interests that I want to attend to, but when you have school with a shotgun aimed at my back, it's not that easy to give myself the permission to do all the things that I want to do.
Oh well, I guess this is all part of a genius (or mad and evil) plan that will work out in the end.. we'll see
New week
Oooh, monday. How I love these days. At least it's not that difficult of a day. Two classes, and I'll be late (or miss completely) one of them due to my dentist appointment today. Going there to check out if my infection in my gums has healed completely.
So yeah, I'm a free bird until around 12, when my appointment is. Maybe not a completely free bird, since I have to study. Love studying.
It's close to 7am right now. So I have a few hours on me.
I'm not going to write any essays today, I'll just jump into study so that I can get something done.
Take carez
Oooh Amber
Ah, good old game I can't remember the title on right now.. something with viking ships and everytime you go collect gold from beaches they go "oooh amber!". I'm played a lot of interesting games it seems.
Okay, a quick post before bed time.. I mean school time. I wish it was bed time though, because I'm so tired. >_<
Friday today, but I don't feel the calm. School scares me, it really does. Always getting new assignments while I haven't quite finished the last ones. I have old stuff from first year that I need to do, I didn't have time last term.. why would I have time now. But they have to be done. HAVE TO.
I wish I could just escape all this. It's driving me crazy.
Something else that's irritating me is the blog software always nagging that there's a new version and that I should update it. But someone is a bit lazy on that department.
Yesterday was supposed to be a very special day. And it was, just that a lot of crap happened that I wish hadn't. It was my and Tova's first year anniversary after getting married on Facebook. Sure it may have been a bit unserious, but after a year of being together, it does mean quite a lot. A year. It's hard to grasp.
Well, that's all for today. Lets see if this day will break me or not
Oh hello
Why does free time always vanish so quickly? >_<
School has started again, today will pretty much be my first real day, even though I've already had school last week and yesterday. However, I was sick all of last week, and yesterday was some kind of weird health day. So yeah. First day.
This first day will also be the longest day of the week. Starting at 8am, and will end at 5pm. I feel like I'm going to love these days.
I thought I'd kick start my 5am tactics again, and maybe get some stuff done. Don't have much time today though, because I was a bit lazy waking up and school starts early. (And I'm wasting time blogging... but don't tell anyone)
As most of you know, I spent Christmas and New Years at my girlfriend's. As usual the time with her runs away quite quickly, but we had a nice time. That evil... evilness even bought me a cellphone. A HTC Wildfire. Even though it's very very appreciated, it makes my gifts pale in comparison. Oh well, there's loads of special days coming up that I can use to my advantage..
I of course got other stuff too, from other people. But I won't start listing all that. But I do appreciate every single one of those gifts! ^_^
A funny thing that happened when I was going to go home was that I forgot my wallet (including tickets, debit card, ID among other things). This I of course noticed while standing at the train station, with the train just a few minutes away.
Stuff like that is always funny. At least I was allowed to go with anyway, so that I could get home.
Home.. which leads to the next funny thing. I arrived home on a Thursday. Didn't have that much energy to do anything, so I took it slow. Even went to bed early. Well someone had to get sick just after getting home.. So now I was wallet-less and sick. I can pretty much say all my plans went down the drain.
But I should look at it from the bright side.. that I.. .. hmm.. got to sleep more than usual?
There and Back Again
I'm so tired >_< Cursed me for staying up so late, despite knowing I'd have to get up early.
Sitting here in the train now, soon about halfway to my destination I'd say. You can notice the cold by the window frames being covered in ice.. on the inside.
I wish I could get some sleep now, but the plan is to stay up most of the night. And even if I did mean to sleep now, that would be pretty much impossible. With all these young children talking and playing.
Aaaah, sleep.
Things are going quite well, despite delays due to.. well, nothing special really. Just because they are incredibly bad at keeping a good level of service. Like earlier when two of the train's engines had shut down and a break was malfunctioning. All this despite the money it costs to travel by train nowadays.
At least I get to see my girl <3
Just writing this as a quite update, I'll probably be quiet for the next two weeks, due to my visit. So next time I see will probably be when I'm 18 years old. 18. A day I've longed for ages.
Lets see how it feels
Keeping on the Spree
The day before tomorrow.. dundundun
I've returned to active duty as admin over APFU, since a few days back. And things have been pretty quiet. The biggest worry for me right now concerning that is the growing database. It's big enough that it eats up all the memory when I try to make a backup on it. But I have some plans to work it out. Just have to stop planning and actually do something.
Something else I should do is to update this blog software. Keeps notifying me of new updates being available. Sure I could press the shiny update now button and have it over with. But I'd rather be on the safe side and make a backup before, so that I don't lose every single post since my last back up.
Everything just requires energy, and I'm really lazy currently. I'm both done with school and not done with school. With that last assignment hanging over me. It's not making me feel good.
Something that is making me feel good is that I'm done with my first part of Christmas gift shopping, and that I'm leaving tomorrow ^_^ Lets just see if the trains manage to get me to the destination or if I get stuck in middle of nowhere. I'm not that worried though. Whatever happens, let it happen. I'll figure out a solution to that issue after. I always do.
Talking about leaving, I really should start packing. Like now... I'll do it.. soon. In a minute ;o
I wonder what I should take with me. I had like 20 magazines with me last time I left, I think I read one XD But magazines is a nice way of spending time. So I'll grab a few anyway. And I need to remember to prepare my mobile Internet device, so that I can reach the web on the train.
Oh god, so much to do. I want a butler
Jingle Bells
Christmas is closing in fast. Though it's starting to calm down for me. I still have that irritating assignment to do >_< I'll take a look at it soon. Right now shower and dishes awaits.
Why things are starting to calm down is really because I'm almost done with part one of my gift shopping spree. I'll finish the last tomorrow, and then I'm done for a little while. I have some more to buy once I get back home, but that's future me's problem. If only I could get that assignment out of my way I'd be at peace. In one way, I've almost considered just ignoring the entire assignment and wish for the best. I don't know.
I'm leaving in two days, for those who didn't know. Two days. It doesn't feel like I'm leaving really. It doesn't feel like it's almost Christmas either. Christmas... CHRISTMAS. I don't know.. has that word lost its meaning to me? I no longer get that same feeling for Christmas that I used to get. I wonder if one year from now, I'll still be at the same spot, with the same troubles, with the same lack of Christmas spirit. If there's one thing. One thing, I wish for for 2011.. it's an apartment.
I feel like I'm going crazy really. I'm going crazy living this life I live today. I'm stuck, while still moving forward. Like a part of me is stuck, while the other part is rushing forward.. It's breaking me apart. But no one seems to understand.
I don't want to live like I do. It depresses me. To be away from you. Sometimes I feel like giving up... heck with it
I'd give anything to be with you. Forever.
Friday :o
This morning didn't turn out exactly as planned :o I slept a bit too long so I didn't get to do much before my grandma woke up.
But I've studied some math, I think I have the hang of it. We'll see after the test right. Other than that it's quite a soft day today, in terms of school that is. I just have math and then I'm pretty much done.
In terms of gift shopping it may be a bit more stressful. But it has to be done I guess. I'll figure something out.
So last day of school.. I wish I could feel relief, but I can't. Not yet. Not before I finish and send in that last assignment. IF I finish it, that will say.
This will be a long day
Ahhh, two days
Two days of school left :o Sounds great doesn't it. If I had everything finished that is. I still have one assignment left to do, but what I did was that I split the assignment up into several parts. And finished part 1 today and sent it in. That way he'll have something to grade me on. I'll be amazed if I still manage to get an A in that class, even despite all this. We'll see..
Pretty relaxed day today I think. I'll have math, were we'll practice for the test we'll have tomorrow. And then I have the class where I have that assignment.. I'm pretty nervous about that, I really hate being questioned by the teacher about late assignments >_< Oh well, let him have his best shot.
I need to buy Christmas presents! Just about a week left to Christmas, and for me it's really just until Monday I can buy gifts. Because I'll be leaving on Monday. (Guess where?) So it's starting to get a bit stressing. And it will be awesome to go gift shopping this weekend, especially with this being the last weekend before Christmas, meaning EVERYONE will be shopping then. wohoo
That's why I prefer the Internet for my shopping. I can find a cheaper price, avoid the stress of running around in the store trying to find something, and yeah, I don't have to leave my room to do it. But I have to go to the store, because I don't have a clue what I'm gonna buy. Maybe iPads to everyone? That shouldn't be too expensive... right?
Ah, it will work out. Somehow.
P.S I've updated the Wish-list!